So I’m struggling with how to tell my 3 year old daughter Britton what happens when you die. I know the question is inevitable as we may soon lose a very special person in our lives…”Pops” to her; “Granddaddy” to me; “Honey or Millon” to his wife (depending on her feelings towards him at the time!); “Daddy” to his daughters (my mom & aunt) and “Bill” to those who know and love him. He’s been ill for a while and Britton hasn’t visited him in about 2 months because it really bothers her to see him this way. He’s a man with the most love for life I’ve ever known…has always done exactly what he wanted to do without hesitation and now it seems his spirit is leaving him. He’s now in hospice and I’m struggling with the decision on whether to let Britton see him one last time quietly in bed or leave her with the memory of him up & laughing. I’m leaning toward the latter, even though during my last visit, in a lucid moment, he asked “Where’s Brit?”
And then there will be the question of whether to take her to the funeral and of course the conversation on dying. She has no point of reference for “death”. Thankfully at this point she only knows what it means to live. We say our prayers to G-d every night and she knows that Pops isn’t feeling good. My plan is to tell her that Pops’ body stopped working and his spirit has gone to G-d, but again I don’t think she’ll be able to grasp that concept at 3 years old. I guess I’ll just wait for the questions when the time comes (hopefully later rather than sooner). Her ability to reason through things often amazes me and I usually underestimate her ability to understand. She’ll probably be the one to comfort me.
